Naomi Girson | opinions editor

I turned 21 last week. I’ve only had one drink since, and I didn’t even finish it. I got a chocolate martini when I went out to dinner with my parents, and after about three sips, the rest was placed on my mom’s side of the table. I wish I would have just been drinking chocolate milk instead.

I know I’m young and in college and should maybe like drinking, or at least partake every once in a while, but I really just hate it.

I hate the way it makes me feel.

It’s expensive, especially if it’ll just end up in the toilet bowl later in the night.

And I have a huge fear of vomiting, so I’m always thinking about preventive measures to avoid getting sick.

The second I drink anything, when I feel it hit my stomach I just want to drink something else, like a Shirley Temple, or God forbid, a water.

I just overthink everything, so something that I can see going off the rails, like alcohol, makes me so nervous. I like staying in control. I like being able-bodied and able to drive my car no matter what time of night it is.

Besides the substance itself, I really dislike everything that comes along with it.

People tend to drink as an excuse. They tend to ‘blame it on the alcohol,’ as if they weren’t responsible for pouring the liquor down their own throat. For some people it seems like they need it as an excuse to be wild and uncensored.

I don’t need alcohol to approach someone at a party or heckle someone for mispronouncing my name, I do just fine without it.

I really used to hate being the only sober one, but I have found it is sort of an underexplored art.  

I’m in control, in a way. Most of my friends know I stay sober, but no one else at the function is really sure, which somehow makes my nights more fun. I know what I’m doing, but no one else does.

I’m pretty social and outgoing, regardless of the situation, which tends to be a character trait that is enhanced by alcohol. But I find it easy to have fun at a party without the red solo cup. Plus, my demeanor isn’t one people tend to expect from a sober person, so I can get away with sneaking out on my own, instead of being responsible for carting everyone around.

I’m not one to be jaded, but I spent all of high school and a chunk of college driving belligerent drunk ‘friends’ around with steam coming out of my ears.

I used to feel so obligated to take whoever home, just because I had a car and my sobriety.

In the second semester of my freshman year I picked up a couple of people I hadn’t seen since the fall and drove them from Oakland back to campus. Their newly transferred roommate (a person I had never met before) threw up on herself and passed out in my car.

I spent the next morning cleaning her vomit out of my vehicle and I never saw her again. After that I was a little stingier with who was getting in my car and why.

Though most people would not advocate for this, it’s really easy to go out alone, or with one other friend when you are sober. But, I would fume when big groups of inebriated bozos would rely on me like I was their caretaker as they rattled off insults about my driving.

Now when I go out, and in the months before my birthday, I would go with my friend (singular) to frat parties and bars we could get into.

Luckily, my best friend can handle her alcohol quite nicely now, respects the fact that I’m sober and doesn’t depend on me all night.

Once I realized it wasn’t my problem to see to it that everyone got home, I started having a lot more fun.

Sometimes I think maybe I do have less fun than other people, but I see drunk girls crying all the time. I think some nights are just better than others, but I know for sure I can control what’s going on if I stay in control.

I always like to know what’s going on, where I am, where I’m going and, God forbid, what I’m drinking.

I don’t even like beer, but jungle juice is an unbelievable concept. Just a collective liquid made by some pledge who probably can’t tell you the last time he washed his hands.

I promise you, I am not inhibited by my inability to want to drink. I can get on the karaoke mic whenever I want. I don’t need alcohol to ‘loosen up,’ I’m plenty loose, thank you.

I guess I like being different from everyone else, but I really do not like drinking, it’s not just an individuality complex.

All the reasons people drink alcohol, to loosen up, to forget, to be more social, I can do it all sober.

I don’t really trust people either. Perhaps I never gave anyone the chance to prove to me that I could trust them if I got drunk, but I’m not counting on anyone. I know my best friend would get me home, but she would almost certainly be drunk with me.

I just don’t ever see myself in a situation where I couldn’t get home. It’s paradoxical I guess, but I’ve created a reputation for myself, of being put together, coherent, independent and sober. It’s not anyone’s responsibility but my own.

Naomi Girson can be reached at girsonn@duq.edu