Naomi Girson | opinions editor

So last week I wrote about the death of my lovely cat Parker. Not to give anyone whiplash or anything, but I am now in the market for a new cat. Honestly, we probably would have gotten a second one long ago if Parker wasn’t so weird around any other living thing (her family included).

My birthday is this week, and my parents agreed that I could get a kitten for my 21st, the quintessential gift if you ask me. My dad obviously wanted to set a game plan for our soon-to-be new feline friend. He specified that this would be my cat, and though I still live with them, when I move out, the cat would go with me. That would be more than fine with me. And would I take care of it? Daily? My mother pretty much always took care of Parker. But this would be my cat, and I’m not 5 years old anymore, so fine.

I also would need to get a kitten because my mom believes that if we teach them not to rip up furniture from a young age, they will be more likely to obey. Which is better than the alternative, declawing. For reference, Parker ruined two sets of dining room chairs and every piece of our current living room set-up. Our couch is really uncomfortable but my parents were waiting for Parker to leave us to get a new one. I cannot watch any more movies on that evil stiff couch, so I better make sure my new cat keeps their claws to themself.

Like a true American, my dad is thinking very seriously about the health care costs. My parents would cover the bills until I turn 26 years old (the same age I will be kicked off their insurance). It’s still up in the air whether or not I am expected to buy all the food and litter at this time.

So now it gets to the browsing. I know I’m being extremely particular, but I don’t really think I want a boy cat. I did learn recently they tend to be more affectionate, but I just want another little girl.

And don’t get me started on the naming process. I was so desperate to get ideas I asked everyone at work — I’m a swim teacher, so “everyone” includes my group of swimmers at the end of the night (ages 8-12) — some highlights included “Sundae,” “Teddy” and “Ivy.” It’s not that I don’t like the names, I just want something really good, that speaks to my soul, or whatever. The only name my dad will even suggest is Parker.

Oh, and apparently if I wanted, my parents would be okay with two. Which adds a whole new level to the name thing. However, it’s good to know if I really bonded with a kitten and their sibling, I wouldn’t be forced to break up the set.

I want my cat short-haired, and not all black or all white. I kept saying I would get a cat that’s too white all dirty. What if I was eating Cheetos or something? And the black cats … I have enough bad luck already.

I keep telling people it’s really stressful to find my kitten, but they seem to think the selection isn’t all that important.

I guess I’m just scared I’m going to pick a bad seed. I just keep hoping once I meet the cat, I’ll just know, like fate. Or maybe the cat will come to me, and I’ll have to stop looking. I’ve heard rumors of the cat distribution system, I just need my turn to come. I wish Parker was here to help me screen all these new kittens. They’ll be taking over her old turf anyway.

Naomi Girson can be reached at girsonn@duq.edu