Kaitlyn Hughes | news editor

On my first day of preschool, at the ripe age of two, I ran into the classroom eager to meet another girl my age. A girl who would hopefully be my friend for life.

I strutted over to a classmate named Ava who was slightly taller than me with big brown eyes. I told her my name and that I wanted to be friends. From then on, she and I spent every day of preschool playing dress up, running around the playground and begging our mothers for a sleepover.

Even as an innocent toddler, I understood that having friends is a vital part of life.

But the importance of friendship slowly faded as I became overwhelmingly independent.

This mindset formed after a sequence of rotten friendships — people ditching me at the last minute, making rude comments and only thinking for themselves.

I put up a wall to the world that I thought would never need to come down.

I went to the gym by myself, I did all my grocery shopping on my own and I wasn’t afraid to go to a restaurant alone. All of these things are great, but as long as they are accompanied by social situations.

I started working 30 hours a week on top of being a full-time student, leaving no room for friends. I would never ask for help even if I felt lost. I didn’t try clubs or attend any group activities in the community.

Yes, I had a family who loved me, a caring boyfriend and a series of friends. But if my friendships were to slowly fade away, I didn’t think I would mind. At the time, I didn’t need friends to be the best version of myself.

But as I round out my time at Duquesne, I realize I have held myself back from a crucial part of life.

One Saturday night, I laid in my bed as all my fellow classmates were out at the bars or in the sweaty basement of a frat house. I felt like I was missing something. For the first time ever, I felt alone.

I have friends, but those people didn’t really know me. I had a shield around me at all times out of the fear I would get hurt. I had achievements and hobbies, but I felt no true value in sharing them with the ones I love.

What was a painful realization has turned into a campaign to boost my social well being.

This summer I started playing pickleball with my family, I began scheduling monthly lunch dates with my girls, I moved in with one of my friends from high school and on Tuesday I attended a group workout class for the first time.

Being around a group of people for recreational (not work) purposes has been rejuvenating. I have reinstated my belief that human connection is part of what makes life worth living.

Because when the days are dark, emotions are high and the pain runs deep, a group of friends is going to be standing right beside you to pull you out of it.

Kaitlyn Hughes can be reached at hughesk10@duq.edu