Ember Duke | layout editor

Meredith Miller was a friend, teacher’s aid and avid churchgoer who approached life with joy and enjoyed uplifting the people around her.

“It was impossible to feel anything other than happy when you were around her,” said Alivia Capone, Miller’s most recent buddy at Duquesne Best Buddies.

Miller, 42, died on Jan. 23 in a house fire at her family’s Upper St. Clair home. She was a teacher’s aid at Tender Shepherd Preschool, an active member at The Bible Chapel, and for the last 16 years she was a member of the Duquesne Best Buddies chapter.

Her father, Robert Miller, was taken to the ICU, but is now out, said Lauren Bader, Duquesne alumna, who has been in contact with the family’s church. She said Meredith’s mother, Susan Miller, is healthy. The family’s dog also died in the fire.

Bader met Miller her freshman year through the Best Buddies program — an organization that fosters one-on-one friendships between people with and without intellectual and developmental disabilities and helps facilitate employment, living and leadership opportunities.

Miller and Bader quickly became natural friends and kept in touch weekly after Bader had graduated.

The pair would go mini-golfing, talk on FaceTime and often get Rita’s Italian Ice after hanging out. Through the good and the bad, Miller was always a “cheerleader” to her friends, Bader said.

“She was always there to uplift you, and she was the first one to check in on you, and she would remember everything about you. She never forgot a thing,” Bader said.

Miller received a degree in early childhood development from Carlow University, and her parents were always very involved in helping her reach her goals, Bader said.

Though she had Down Syndrome, it’s not what should define her, said Meghan MacGregor, Duquesne Best Buddies vice president.

“She was so much more than that,” MacGregor said. “… Her life should be celebrated, rather than just saying how sad we are that someone with a disability died. Because honestly, if you met her … you couldn’t even tell she had a disability.”

Miller’s loss is felt through the Duquesne community and the state Best Buddies program, whom MacGregor said would be reaching out to the family.

“Everyone knew who Meredith was because she was such a presence,” MacGregor said. “Even if you didn’t know Meredith, just the idea of losing someone that special, genuinely, like it just hurts.”

As well as being neighbors, family friend Pam DeFrancesca’s daughter Emily is also part of Duquesne Best Buddies. DeFrancesca met Meredith’s mother Susan through a group for parents with children who have Down Syndrome, which facilitated their daughter’s friendship.

She said roughly every weekend for the past 20 years the girls’ friend group would make time to hangout and became very close. They enjoyed going to acting classes together on Fridays and having movie nights afterwards — and they always knew who to turn to for some kindness.

“She assumed the role of the caregiver: ‘I’ll pray for you because you have a cold,’ just all sorts of little things that she thought needed to be taken care of in her heart,” DeFrancesca said. “We always knew if there was a prayer to be had for somebody’s grandma or grandpa, it would be Meredith that would make sure that was taken care of.”

At a service in her remembrance on Sunday, Bill Christy led prayer and many Best Buddies members wrote cards for the Miller family. Miller’s friends were left “distraught” by her loss, MacGregor said.

“Some of these buddies have been there … 16 plus years and I think for them, it probably affects them more than even the college students, because we’ve only been there for four years,” MacGregor said. “[Students] have to help their buddy through the grieving process, and that’s something that’s really hard.”

Pam and Emily DeFrancesca then brought the cards to the hotel where Susan Miller was staying. She said the family is dealing not just with the loss of their daughter, but also the loss of the home where Susan Miller grew up.

Meredith’s sisters, Katherine and Elizabeth, younger, came back to be with their parents, DeFrancesca said.

Alivia Capone remembered the first time she met Miller. She’d joined Best Buddies late into the fall 2024 semester and was worried she wouldn’t find a buddy match. She said Miller gave her “the biggest hug” when they were paired and it eased all her nervous feelings.

“It is a very strange thing when someone passes so suddenly with no warning. It’s not something you could ever prepare for,” Capone said. “What brings me the most peace is that she lived her life to the fullest every day and was surrounded with lots of love.”

Miller loved Taylor Swift, The Jonas Brothers and having ‘girl’s nights’ with her friends, Capone said.

“She also loved to be creative. She told me about scrapbooks she was making and pottery painting classes she had attended,” she said.

In her time with the program, Miller had 10 buddies, said Best Buddies president Ella Kindelberger.

Many buddies join the organization right out of high-school and become lifelong members, Kindelberger said.

“Some of our buddies are almost 60 years old. They’ve been there for like, 30 years,” she said. “It just creates a family for them, it’s definitely just like a little … way to escape.”

The program hosts two events a month on campus, though many pairs hangout outside of the organization. Kindelberger said she remembers Miller’s favorite being the “matching” event where new buddy pairs were made for the school year — though she said people also stayed in buddy pairs from previous years, such as with Miller and Bader’s four-year pairing.

“She brought joy to every event we had,” Kindelberger said.

She said the connections made through the organization are mutually benefitting.

“That [the bi-weekly events] was the highlight of my week. For the buddies, I think it honestly just creates a sense of normalcy for them.”
“Meredith really was part of the Duquesne Best Buddies, almost from the beginning,” DeFrancesca said. “After high school, that [Best Buddies] was the biggest social setting for these girls, and for Meredith,”

DeFrancesca said the family will have a celebration of life ceremony instead of a funeral, though they have not chosen a date.