Charlotte Shields-Rossi | a&e editor

In 2021, “Saturday Night Live” aired a skit called “Birthday Gifts,” where Trish (Aidy Bryant), a middle aged suburban mom, is opening birthday gifts from her friends (Regina King, Cecily Strong, Heidi Gardner, Chloe Fineman). The gifts start out tame, first with a sign that reads “wine gets better with age, I get better with wine.” They quickly evolve into gifts that show a serious problem — signs that read “I drink too much” and “I did ‘dry January’ I never took a bath all January because I was always too hammered & was worried I would slip under the surface of the water.”

The skit is supposed to be funny, (I laughed), but it also showcases the sad reality of the “wine mom.” A reality that is often not taken seriously enough.

If you have been on social media (especially Facebook) you are probably familiar with the “wine mom” archetype. They share funny memes about their love for wine (which more often than not will include a Minion) “If one glass of wine is good for you, imagine what a whole bottle could do.” These moms describe the alcoholic beverages as “mommy’s juice” and love to say “it’s five o’clock somewhere.”

Wine is so common among women because it has been marketed to be. There are even brands such as Mom Juice, Mad Housewife and Mommy’s Time Out that specifically cater their brands toward mothers.

In a 2021 Gallup study, they found that men are more than twice as likely as women to say they drink beer most often. Women are more than three times as likely as men to say wine is their most common beverage.

Beer, which is more common among men, makes you burp (not ladylike) and is high in calories. Shots of hard liquor are a young woman’s game and seen as “sloppy.” Wine on the other hand is sophisticated, classy and low in calories.

Wine is the “healthiest” form of alcohol, some people wine red wine does have antioxidants that can be heart healthy, but you could get the same benefits by eating some grapes. The antioxidants in a glass of red wine don’t negate the damage caused to your mental and physical health. It is particularly dangerous to drink when used as a way to “escape” from your issues, which is common among the “wine mom” community.

Women and men are shown to drink for different reasons — women use it to cope with stress and depression, whereas men are more likely to drink for other reasons, according to a 2019 study conducted at Yale University. Drinking as a coping mechanism leads to an increased risk in alcohol dependence, according to liver specialist Christina Lindenmeyer, at Cleveland Clinic.

Historically, binge drinking and alcohol use disorders have been attributed to men by a 3-1 ratio. In the past few years there has been a dramatic shift, with drinking habits being nearly identical among the genders, according to a 2016 study from the British Medical Journal.

The gender gap in alcoholism is closing, but the media still portrays alcoholism differently depending on gender.

For instance, in the Netflix show, “Bojack Horseman,” the titular main character (voiced by Will Arnett) faces severe drug and alcohol addiction throughout the show. Much of Bojack’s personal arc centers around mistakes he has blamed on his addictions and how it has essentially ruined his life. In the last season, he even goes to rehab, and though the show takes the occasional jab at his drinking problems (it is marketed as a comedy after all), his issues are continually addressed in a very real and sobering light throughout the run of the show.

Meanwhile, the “wine mom” character is rarely treated with the same amount of care or seriousness. The archetype is common in television, particularly sitcoms, think Claire Dunphy (Julie Bowen) from “Modern Family” or Lois Griffin (voiced by Alex Borstein) from “Family Guy.” These women are often stay-at-home mothers that have to deal with the stress of raising a family, in many cases with their husband acting as yet another child, and they fall back on alcohol to cope with their often unsatisfactory and stressful life.

Lois Griffin hides her vodka in the bushes, Claire Dunphy binge drinks to the point of blacking out numerous times, but these moments are only the set up to a punchline for laughs and not to be taken as a real portrayal of problematic drinking behaviors.

This could also be because men and women act differently when they are intoxicated. Men experience and cause more alcohol-related injuries and deaths than their female counterparts, according to a 2020 study conducted within the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). Men also experience more aggression than women while intoxicated, according to a 2009 study from the American Psychological Association.

It is harder to joke about alcohol-induced violence from big scary men than it is to poke fun at the suburban moms that wash away their sorrows with an entire bottle of pinot grigio.

The joking nature of “wine moms” could also be because time and time again, particularly in television, mothers are defined by their relationship to their family — a mother, a daughter, a wife. If their drinking doesn’t affect their ability to successfully fulfill those roles, why would it even matter if they down a full bottle at dinner?

Mothers are people outside of their role in the family, and a drinking problem is still a problem even if they are still able to be a good mother and wife.

A glass of wine at dinner isn’t the issue (although it is not necessarily healthy) the issue arises when you need “mommy’s juice” to get through the day. That should be taken seriously.

Charlotte Shields-Rossi can be reached at shieldsrossic@duq.edu